Hope: What it Means to be Kingdom People

"There is Always Hope"-- an image by an anonymous British street artist known as Banksy

I am so uninspired today.

Crazy, that, after my last post was just telling of such jubilant things.

Today I have short thoughts followed by heavy full-stops. 

Like this. 

And mostly I just feel really lonely
(...a little perusing the registry to find a gift for another friend's wedding will do that to you... The biggest emotional struggle, which gives rise to every other practical struggle in my life right now-- you might as well just know-- is trying to understand why my amazing, handsome, scrumptious, man-of-God boyfriend who loves me and is planning on a future with me has yet to give me a bit of security and put a ring on it... Eep-- the months apart grow hardhardhardhard!)

But soon I'll be meeting up with some people from my church plant so we can walk around the part of the city where we are planting the church and pray over the steps we take-- pray for the tall buildings of flats housing people from all over the world and every kind of walk of life; pray for His kingdom to come, and that He would use us to bring it right into this neighbourhood in the meantime. After all, we are kingdom people.

How easy it is to forget.

So setting my fingers to these keys right this moment is a cry for His help to remind me what that means (let's see what He does!)...

I woke up thinking of Psalm 143 today. The line where it says, "Let me hear of Your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting You" (v.8a). But trusting Him does not come naturally, and sometimes choosing to is harder than it is at other times. I got a text from a friend last night out of the blue recommending I read Colossians 3:1-17. I put it off til just this minute, because... well, I don't know why (you know the feeling)... but from the first few lines under my eyes right now sitting here in this coffee shop on this rainy afternoon, I see His purpose in pointing it out to me today (Seriously... I can't get over how awesome He is to speak in a pitch that I can hear!). 

"Since you have been raised to new life with Christ" (v. 1)-- Not "since you will be", but "since you have been"! New life with Christ is my present reality-- every day! Every morning it is the deepest truth I can wake up knowing. I belong to Christ's kingdom. This earth is not my home. Is it any wonder I feel so constantly homesick for another world? "...set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits at God's right hand in the place of honour and power" (v.1) -- This is what it means to be kingdom people, isn't it? Balancing on the edge of the concept of His Kingdom being now and the not yet? Within us by the Holy Spirit when we accept that we are sinners in need of Christ's gift of grace, and yet still to come when He returns to wipe out the enemy completely, and make all things new, make all things as they should be-- on earth as it is in heaven. We must actively "set" our sights on the reality of that Kingdom coming, and the reality of the bit of it we carry within us already. "Let heaven fill your thoughts" (v.2)-- This makes the discipline of setting our sights on the reality of what it means to be His sound so easy. I find I have to fight hard to choose to hope this way. But I want to, I want to, I want to.

I want to choose to hope. I want to choose to let heaven fill my thoughts, to paint with rosy colour all the thoughts of grey which threaten to take up all the space in my head. And the beautiful thing is... I can. I have been raised to new life with Christ. It's already done. Complete. My ransom paid in full. I am already a citizen of this Kingdom which is coming. I carry a bit of it with me to sprinkle rosy-coloured hope wherever the dreary grey seems to fill the space.

That's what the church plant is about in Brunnsbo. And that's what He's about in me.

Let me hear of Your unfailing love each morning indeed, Lord, for I am choosing to trust in You. And to hold out Your hope everywhere it's needed... so, everywhere.

Wanna join? Pray for the work of our church plant Brunnen in Brunnsbo. Pray for His Kingdom work in Sweden. Pray for His Kingdom work in Europe. Pray for His Kingdom work across the world. And pray that the worldwide church can be strengthened to remember what it means to be Kingdom people, so our lives can't help but reflect it...

...Putting it Back

This quote is resonating with me tonight. "There are people who take the heart out of you..."Oh yes, there are. As much as my romantic little heart just doesn't want to accept it; just wants to love on, love on, love on and watch His love pouring through it change the world all around it. I want so desperately to believe Him when He speaks of the way of obedience being the best way, when He teaches us to live with hearts wide open, always hoping, always trusting, always persevering in looking for the good in one another, in choosing to love one another even when we don't feel it, trusting that He will not waste a drop of that effort... I believe this. I choose to live like I believe this. But sometimes, oh, sometimes after a long haul it feels like the heart is drained right out of me... I know you know the feeling.

But... I also know that... somehow, in time (that all-important quality)... "there are people who put it back." And there may not be a moment where it all lines up and all is made well again, but somehow you find that your heart is just... back. And that God, throughout that all-important quality of time, has used ways too various to describe and too numerous to count, but usually requiring much of the tangible human hands around us, to restore to us our hearts which had been so drained away...

I'm working through some difficult experiences of heart-drainage which has been following me around for too long. I just haven't known where to start in dealing with it. Even now I don't. What do you do when the same people who at times have put the heart in you, are the same ones to take it right out? What about when it's a church experience? When the hurts happen in what should be the safest place? And you don't want to say aloud what hurts lest someone feels you're pointing fingers (surely every time you point a finger, there are 3 fingers pointing back at you, right?) and you set boundaries but people are offended by them (and the last thing you want to do is hurt anyone so that more hurt comes from the hurt you've already been carrying for years now, not knowing how to deal with it and feeling it growing more and more stale the longer you let it sit there locked away but never too far away...). The perfect entanglement. Feeling stuck to do anything but just go on, discouragement heaps on discouragement until one day, life has calmed down a little.And you find yourself taking deep breaths again, and there it is, just waiting to be dealt with and set aside once and for all. But the 'dealing with it' can feel more painful than the carrying it around.

Funny how again and again, it all comes back to this. So so so tired of that. But maybe that's what will fuel me to keep on working it through. I wish I could speak plainly without anybody taking offense. Instead, I form vague thoughts in the middle of the night, not expecting anyone to read them, and if they do, not expecting anyone to understand.

And all because I read somewhere that "There are people who take the heart out of you... and there are people who put it back."  I think we have a very real enemy. And I think he will take the heart out of us using any means possible. But I believe we have a victorious Lord, who will reach in and restore our hearts, using His children to reach out to us with His hands and feet. Even if the wounds those hands and feet of His children are reaching out to soothe were put there by the hands and feet of other children of His.

Doesn't it make you want to cry out "Maranatha!" Yes, it makes me desire His coming to restore all things... But it also gives me a passion to BE a glimmer of His Kingdom here and now. To "do church well". To truly be the kind of person who can be a part of a community of hopeful people needing His grace, which create a space where His Kingdom is exemplified here and now, for a world dying to see it.

Perhaps... in the end... that's exactly why I walked through my bad experience with Church to begin with. To make me as earnest as can be about being a Church which genuinely exists to be a glimmer of His Kingdom.


"I'm convinced that one of the reasons Jesus didn't confront the might of Rome or challenge the religious powers in Jerusalem was because He knew the story we long to hear is not one of military victory or political control. It's the story of a God who restores the lost and offers hope to a cynical world. The rumors of God are true. Jesus rose from the dead, and so did the hopes of all those who are looking for revolution..." -- 'Rumors of God' by Darren Whitehead & Jon Tyson

"...Love of God overflow, permeate all my soul...
Fill me up, God, fill me up..."
--Fill Me Up by The United Pursuit Band

Rumors of God

"And this is precisely what Christianity is about. The world is a great sculptor's shop. We are the statues and there is a rumor going round the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life."
-- C.S. Lewis

You know what you finish a book and as you reach the last page all you want to do is turn to the beginning and start it all over again? The truths it spoke were just that thirst-quenching, the ways in which it spoke them are just that captivating. "Rumors of God" by Darren Whitehead and Jon Tyson was just that book for me. 

Captivated by the C.S. Lewis quote above, the two Aussie pastors in America set out to explore various "rumors" of the Christian life, what truths can be found in the rumors, and how those truths are holding up in the life of the average Christian. Where we are lacking, why are we lacking? What does this say about God? What does this say about us? It looks challengingly at the claims we make about Jesus and about what it looks like to be His followers and examines the way our lives reflect that to a world which has only heard the rumors... Painting pictures with historical stories of experiences of faith, on both an individual and a corporate level, this book has influenced the way I pray, and awakened in me a greater desire not only for His Kingdom come on earth, but a greater passion to BE His Kingdom coming TO the world He's placed us in.

My copy is now riddled with underlining and stars in the margins :) I'd love to lend it to you, if you're in my neck of the woods!! Because He is so much more than a rumor, and our lives are meant to say so much more than we are letting them...

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