The Face of Joy

She had lived through the Holocaust.

Anita Dittman came to speak at my church the other night. She had survived one of the darkest experiences in human history. She had had her family stripped from her when she was still only a girl, really, living for months on her own, praying that her mother would survive the concentration camp. Then forced to work digging trenches for the Nazis while starving, dying from an infection that she had to hide lest she be shot on the spot. When she was finally "safe" in a hospital, the Nazi nurse tried to kill her. She was spared brutal rape by the incoming Russian soldiers only because of the wounds they saw when they stripped her naked. She had seen more indescribable evil and horror than most of us will ever even come close to...

And yet, the joy in her face shone brighter than all the pain.

And I left church Sunday night mesmerized. By her story, yes; by the incredible opportunity I'd just had to meet an 87 year old Jewish survivor of the Holocaust; but mostly by the joy in her face.

I came home, sat down on my side of the bed-- my heart communicating with God even while my mind raced-- and concluded: I want to be that faithful.

I want to stand in the face of this personal darkness and respond with faith. I want to pray and know that He hears and I can trust Him no matter the outcome. I want to face my personal Nazis and watch as God uses them to help me escape (she literally was given a train ride to freedom by some German soldiers after she escaped with 4 other girls from their work camp as the Russians closed in...) to freedom. I want to someday stand before a cloud of witnesses and shine joy from my face because of the grace of my God. I want to stand that firm in the love of Christ, that the deepest darkness can't muffle my praises because I KNOW that this tiny blip of time on earth where satan has reign for a time is just that-- the blink of an eye. And my King is bigger. Bigger than all this pain. Bigger than all this evil. Bigger than all this sin. Bigger than all this betrayal. Bigger than all this heartache...

I just forget so easily how little light it takes to dispel the darkness. The most miniscule flicker breaks the heaviest dark. How can I forget?

Lord, please, in the midst of it all, rise up in me faith like I have never known, and joy that shines out of my eyes midst the tears of gratitude that You see me, You love me, You never leave me-- not even for a moment-- in this inhospitable world. May I not only see your hand in this, but may I grab hold of it so firmly that my faith only increases in the face of evil. And one day, may I give Joy a face for another...

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."
-- Psalm 31:24

Though the Mountains be Shaken...

We drove out to the beautiful Black Hills of South Dakota last week. Through the Badlands, into Custer State Park and up the awe-inspiring Needles Highway at sunset (after an appropriate meal of buffalo stew), soaking up the ethereal beauty, the majesty and might of those otherworldly, glorious spires poking up into the heavens. Mountains which have stood the test of time...



And gazing at this beauty, such a calling card of God's, Isaiah 54:10 kept echoing against the walls of my mind, "'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you."

Have you ever wondered where in the heck your peace has gone? Have your mountains all been shaken to their core, and the hills which used to be a constant on your horizon slipped away who knows where? When everything you thought was sacred, suddenly... wasn't?

The world becomes a very unkind place, very very quickly. I am well-acquainted with this feeling. Such desperate disillusionment. Crying out silently to God with the last bit of energy you have after just surviving another day, Lord, I know you're here, but I can't see you in this! You want to pull up close to Him, but the old familiar paths seem closed to you now, grown over with brambles of hurt and confusion. You want to sing His praises, but it hurts too much to even breathe, how are you supposed to sing? You're just holding on with whitened fingernails...

But as we drove that narrow, curvy road through the magnificent needle formations at the pinnacle of that mountain range in the Black Hills, He whispered this scripture through the near-numbness. Even if these mighty mountain formations all around you were to shake and crumble into dust, my love would hold you. My love is holding you. It is all around. Trust me, little one...

And I came down from the mountain knowing afresh that He is with me.
"Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea..." -- Psalm 46:2

And I just thought maybe you too might need to be reminded of this love that will never be shaken if you trust the Son...

"When hope is lost, I'll call you Saviour;
When pain surrounds, I'll call you Healer...
Through the darkest night of my soul
You surround me and sustain me."
-- Tim Hughes, "When the Tears Fall" 

"When your doubts have got you thinking...
That nothing's ever really sacred...
And you're afraid you might believe it
Believe in Me, and I'll make a light to guide you back home...
Because after all the sky has fallen down
And after all the water's washed away
My love's the only promise that remains
My love's the only promise that remains..."
-- J. Timberlake, "The Only Promise that Remains"