Friday 5 June 2009

A Bit of Down-Time...

Hey guys,

I write to you from my bed as I've stayed home sick today. "Summer flu", my South African friend calls it. Blah...

I feel bad that I haven't been a very good blogger :(

So, I thought I might write a bit about my weekend away with my beloved little church this past weekend. Twice a year our Rescue Mission church goes away with another small international church to the seaside at Uddavalla, Sweden. We stay at a church camp and spend time relaxing and praising and praying and seeking God together, outside of our normal environment.

I was really praying for a movement of God in my church this weekend...

Two nights we met for worship and it was beautiful how the Spirit of God drew us to minister to one another in prayer. And the worship... aww... something in me is most at home and alive when I'm lost in worshipping the King.

On the last day we had a Baptismal in the sea (can you imagine?!) and it was lovely, as was the whole weekend.

Looking back at our camp from further up the beach

My Romanian sister Sorinella and I at the sea

Introducing my little Liam to the greatness of our God in the sea

But I went away from it carrying a bit of guilt. I'm still bringing it before the Lord now. You see, during one of the nights we were worshiping and praying over one another, I felt I should go and pray for two people in my church but I... hesitated. I hesitated for one because I just had NO IDEA what I would pray over him. Too much chaos in my mind surrounding the whole situation. I know that God doesn't ask us to logically understand what He asks of us, just to obey, but I get so hung up on rationally working things out... that I inhibit Him. I'm sorry, Lord... And I hesitated over the other one because what I felt prompted to pray about wasn't nice. It wasn't easy and lovely. It was hard stuff. And I hated the thought of being the one to deliver the hard stuff, you know? And immediately my mind is going, "but Leah, it might not be the Spirit of God at all, but just you, and then what would you have done? And what right have you to say anything in this situation!?" and I just completely talk myself into being paralyzed and doing nothing.

But the conviction hasn't gone away.

So... I'm praying about the right opportunity to take these individuals aside, humbly explain, and lay before them what God laid on my heart that night. They can take it or leave ir or do with it what they will. My place is only obedience....

It's true in all of life. My place is only obedience...
And trust. Trust that He can and will catch me no matter the heights obedience asks me to fall from.

How beautiful is this grace that takes us from wherever it is that we're starting from!

I think I will always always always be learning the shape of His heart. No matter how many years, I know Him; study Him; live for Him. I always feel like a small child taking in a new experience with wide eyes. He is endless, so endless. And in Him we have our beginning and our end...
Thank you, Lord.

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