So... I got a summons to the post office.
They don't leave packages at my flat, they put a slip through the mail slot telling me to come get the package at the post office. But this slip was for a post office I had never heard of and had no idea how to find!! I went to my local one and they couldn't explain to me how to get there, and even if they could, it was too far to walk. So... I hung on to it for awhile. There was no indication on the slip what it was or who it was from or even where it was from, and I wasn't expecting anything. So it was a bit exciting :)
Finally, my lovely friend Teri-Anne who has a car got in on the action, and we drove all around Lindholmen looking for this post office and ending up in an out-of-the-way industrial park. But I got my mystery package! Thank the Lord for lovely, helpful, generous friends.
Inside was a little surprise from the Lord. One of my favourite Christian teachers has written a new book. When I read about it on her blog a few months ago my heart leapt in my chest. It seemed as if what she was describing had been written JUST for me. It's called "So Long Insecurity; You've Been a Bad Friend to Us" (disregard the corny title, please, it's bound to be good!) and she mentioned on her site that she would send a copy of this book to anyone who needed to read it but couldn't afford it. When I left my comment with her ministry I honestly didn't think they would respond, and they didn't. So I forgot about it. Until I say in Teri-Anne's car holding a beautiful hard-copy of this book in my hands, straight from Beth Moore herself (well, okay, from her ministry, but a beautiful gift nonetheless :)).
His kindness overwhelms me.
It's no secret that insecurity is the plague of my life. My testimony is one characterized by His reaching in to me through my fog of hiding away my heart due to insecurity and shame. I've spent years even being ashamed of feeling ashamed (huh??). And the path He's had me on is a beautiful one of taking more and more steps into His higher places, forgetting myself and my fears and seeing only His glorious face. Falling in love and being empowered by it. But our struggles don't fall off of us easily, do they. And needless to say, I'm feeling pretty special to God. He never gives up on me. We can go over the same ground 500 times and He still holds onto my hand and lovingly leads me over the tough spots til I can take a step higher. His love is amazing. His patience is life-giving. His attention to our hearts is beyond compare.
And I'm more thankful than I can say.
So I just wanted to pass on some of the encouragment He's given me. It's a little thing in the grand scheme of things, but it's big to my heart. Watch out for all the ways He's trying to delight you, to romance you, with how He responds to the intimate things He knows about you. You will find your every day so lit up with glimmers of heaven's touch that you will stand in awe at this God who not only saves us, but DELIGHTS in us. He loves you. The God of the universe loves you. And not just once long ago on a rugged cross, but today, in the midst of your struggles, in the midst of your sin, in the midst of your unbelief and selfishness and busyness. He reaches out His hand and brushes His fingertips across your face a thousand times a day, whispering I love you. Open your ears and receive it and let it change you, let it embolden you and lift you up.
And say "so long" to anything that's held you down. He is our God. What more can we want!?