These pictures are absolutely gorgeous, Leah, but it is concerning your words in a few posts back that I am writing now. I probably should not be here, probably should be studying for my two huge tests I have this week (including one which is simply pass or fail for the CLASS) or preparing for a clinical day at a doctor's office that begins in a few hours. Instead I thought to myself, "...maybe I will just check my email." :) Somehow I ended up here, seeking your words, seeking the insight and comfort that your posts bring. And then a few sentences caught my eye, and I began to tear up. I quickly highlighted them and read them over, and over, and over. They are water to my severely dehydrated soul, Leah.
"To know our lives are so purposeful, so appointed, whether we realize it or not feels like waking up from slumber. I long for us each to live in the knowledge of this appointedness. Think about it: What would the world be like if every day we lived as if we knew we had been chosen by this God to serve a distinct purpose in this moment in time?"
I feel like the past month has been that slumber for me, and I am fighting to wake up, to remember. Last night I had my heart broken into so many pieces that I doubt I will ever be able to tape them together again. It's my own fault; he wasn't (isn't) right, yet still I fell. When your heart is broken (no matter how many times it may have been broken before) the pain is almost unbearable, and you question everything that you are. While seeking so hard after something I was never meant to have, I forgot about purpose. I forget about appointedness. I forgot about being chosen and being special and I forgot about Love. All I could focus on was that the love I wanted (and was so willing to hand over with shaking fingers) was not returned in the least. I had wanted to be loved, when Love was with me the entire time. I forgot.
After reading your words (and alternating between crying and staring into space), I am going to remember. I am going to wake up, Leah. This journey that I am currently on is long and hard and painful at times. But what if I did live like I was chosen? Like this was not an accident, a fluke, but rather my destiny? Indeed, what would the world be like? What would I be like?
I had just wanted to take your words, tuck them carefully within my heart, and move forward. But I felt you needed to know how much they meant to me... how much they saved me today. I would have been wandering through my day, feeling self-pity and loneliness, seeing only what I had thought I had lost. Instead, I will hold my head up high, find happiness in the moment again, and remember that I am waking up.
He is whispering and now, in the silence after my fall, I can hear. You remind me of that...
4 comments:
These are fantastic shots, girl!
love the pictures! and i just got your letter :) loved it and can't wait to respond...
soooo beautiful!
These pictures are absolutely gorgeous, Leah, but it is concerning your words in a few posts back that I am writing now. I probably should not be here, probably should be studying for my two huge tests I have this week (including one which is simply pass or fail for the CLASS) or preparing for a clinical day at a doctor's office that begins in a few hours. Instead I thought to myself, "...maybe I will just check my email." :) Somehow I ended up here, seeking your words, seeking the insight and comfort that your posts bring. And then a few sentences caught my eye, and I began to tear up. I quickly highlighted them and read them over, and over, and over. They are water to my severely dehydrated soul, Leah.
"To know our lives are so purposeful, so appointed, whether we realize it or not feels like waking up from slumber. I long for us each to live in the knowledge of this appointedness. Think about it: What would the world be like if every day we lived as if we knew we had been chosen by this God to serve a distinct purpose in this moment in time?"
I feel like the past month has been that slumber for me, and I am fighting to wake up, to remember. Last night I had my heart broken into so many pieces that I doubt I will ever be able to tape them together again. It's my own fault; he wasn't (isn't) right, yet still I fell. When your heart is broken (no matter how many times it may have been broken before) the pain is almost unbearable, and you question everything that you are. While seeking so hard after something I was never meant to have, I forgot about purpose. I forget about appointedness. I forgot about being chosen and being special and I forgot about Love. All I could focus on was that the love I wanted (and was so willing to hand over with shaking fingers) was not returned in the least. I had wanted to be loved, when Love was with me the entire time. I forgot.
After reading your words (and alternating between crying and staring into space), I am going to remember. I am going to wake up, Leah. This journey that I am currently on is long and hard and painful at times. But what if I did live like I was chosen? Like this was not an accident, a fluke, but rather my destiny? Indeed, what would the world be like? What would I be like?
I had just wanted to take your words, tuck them carefully within my heart, and move forward. But I felt you needed to know how much they meant to me... how much they saved me today. I would have been wandering through my day, feeling self-pity and loneliness, seeing only what I had thought I had lost. Instead, I will hold my head up high, find happiness in the moment again, and remember that I am waking up.
He is whispering and now, in the silence after my fall, I can hear. You remind me of that...
Love indeed,
Your friend from another world
Post a Comment