Chance Encounters

Have I mentioned how deeply I love my little international church group here called The Well? Building relationships there, sharing with one another, the teaching from various people and the Word, the worship, He just uses all of it, every week, to refresh my heart somehow. And heal bits of it which have been battered and bruised in other church situations.

Last Sunday a lovely middle-aged Iranian lady pastor came to share her testimony with us. And I listened awestruck. She grew up in a Muslim home in Iran, and started having visions of Jesus before she was even 5 years old. He came to her when she was deathly ill and His presence calmed her. Then He came to her in dreams all throughout her childhood. She spent her life seeking to discover who this man was in her dreams, and the amount of times "Christians" turned her away and sent her home empty is shocking. But He continued to woo her, and she continued to seek after Him, actually aching with a curiosity that wouldn't go away, until she FINALLY, in her 30's, met someone who could tell her who this man was. And she gave her life to Him on the spot, soon became the leader of an underground house church, and then was evacuated from Iran to Sweden in the revolution when her fellow Christians leaders were being martyred.

Afterwards, various people spoke up and shared the different ways God had revealed Himself to them. The experiences were as varied as the people in The Well-- from every continent, so many countries, ages, life experiences.

The kind Iranian lady pastor and I took the same bus home in the crystal clear Swedish night. I thanked her for sharing, told her how encouraged I was. She wrapped her arms around me with a warm smile, then brushed her fingers across my face like a mother and told me in somewhat broken English how happy she was to meet me. And I was struck by the feeling of being mothered, at a bus stop in the cold of a dark Scandinavian city, by a woman whose years have seen a life so very different from the one my fewer ones have seen. I thought about all the people those hands have reached out and touched across the world, in a life so foreign from my own. And marveled at His ways, which miraculously drew this woman from the time she was a little girl in a part of the world hostile to Him, and how He's drawn me, born into a family where His Name is praised, and which set us before one another on this cold winter's night, so many stories of His faithfulness to us living behind each of our pairs of eyes. United by Him, two strangers who could hardly have had more different lives.

When I got home that night I spoke to my sister on Skype and missed my family. When I recalled her tender touch, reaching out to brush her fingers across my face like a loving mother, I was just reminded of His excellent plan to adopt ALL of us as His children, to give us ALL a role in His kingdom, a part in His body. I cannot possibly express how much it comforts me to be a part of this worldwide family, united with burning hearts so full of His love and His purposes and so alive in this cosmic battle.

And I think remembering all of that is exactly what's got her through all the devastating things her life has passed through, and keeps her going, serving Him, lit up with the love of Christ and aching to pour Him out into the emptiness all around her. She works in outreach to Muslims here. She gave me her card and asked if I would come along and help her some time.

...And all this reassurance just from a kind-hearted reaching out and brushing one's motherly fingers across one's chilly face.

Dearly-loved Children

I've been writing devotionals on 1 John 2 for the international student ministry I'm involved in here called The Well. I love how all throughout this chapter, John refers to his readers as dear children. The Greek used is “τεκνίον” which can even be translated as, “darlings” (Strong’s Greek Dictionary). Paul used the same Greek word when he wrote in Ephesians 5:1, “Be imitators of God, as dear children.” 

It struck me anew the miracle of grace to think that when God looks at me-- knowing me completely, knowing all I have done or haven’t done and am yet to do in this life, all my secret thoughts, all my deepest selfishness, and how very far I fall from the mark-- He still sees his very own dearly-loved child...

My amazing friend Abbie once drew this for me
during a time of prayer for me. It's me and Him...

The Greek for “dear” in Eph. 5:1 means, “beloved, esteemed, worthy of love, favourite.” Did you know that when He looks at you, He sees His favourite little darling child? Strong’s Greek Dictionary explains that Paul’s use of “children” in Eph 5:1 is “an affection address for those led by the Spirit of God, therefore closely related to God.” When you really stop to think about what it means to be His child, doesn’t it just blow you away?

Suddenly things which I've been stewing over, details of this crazy lifestyle, the travels, the costs, the matters of safety, being on my own, the wondering how it's all going to work, the trying to be strong enough, smart enough, whatever enough-- suddenly they fade into the background when I let myself stop and realize what it means to be His. And it's not just that He's my Father by chance; He's my Father by adoption (Eph 1:4-5). He wants me. I find that stunning...

And, dear children, "darlings", He wants you too.

 I am writing to you who are God’s children
      because your sins have been forgiven through Jesus.
I am writing to you who are mature in the faith
      because you know Christ, who existed from the beginning.
 I am writing to you who are young in the faith
      because you have won your battle with the evil one.
 I have written to you who are God’s children
      because you know the Father.
 I have written to you who are mature in the faith
      because you know Christ, who existed from the beginning.
 I have written to you who are young in the faith
      because you are strong.
 God’s word lives in your hearts,
      and you have won your battle with the evil one.
-- 1 John 2: 12-14

News! News! News!

Hello praying friends!

I've been meaning to update you on the trip to England to meet with Pioneers for ages now. Oh, busyness!

I really want to thank those of you who were praying for holding me up before the Father regarding this meeting and the whole trip! There were a few near-misses with train/bus travel due to a strike on  the Underground in London and a late arrival to a train station (thankfully, wouldn't you know it, the train was delayed JUST long enough for me to run across the station to the platform and hop on it!). I was surprised at how small my anxiousness was regarding all the train travel (which I'm not a pro at) and I knew then that it was only His grace answering your prayers to give me peace.

My meeting with Pioneers went so smoothly! I was quite nervous leading up to it, mostly about how my own nerves might get in the way, what a fool I might make of myself :) But as I spent the afternoon up in Bawtry with the directors of Pioneers-UK, I truly felt so at peace, and was able to talk naturally and communicate what He's placed on my heart and ask questions about what they're envisioning of our partnership in mission, etc etc. All in all, it was just as I asked you to pray-- a clarifying day.

The Pioneers-UK headquarters are located in a beautiful old
estate called Bawtry Hall, near Doncaster, England.

I need to go back to meet with them for a formal interview and to meet with the team they'd like to see me join in Birmingham doing international (Yep! Perfect :)) student ministry, alongside doing mission mobilisation for that region for the head office in Bawtry. We will plan for this meeting to take place straightaway after I return from Uganda in April. The ideal would be to then apply for the visa and move to Birmingham in late summer/early autumn 2011!

But this will require a great deal of prayer!! I will need to see Him increase my support team 2/3rds of what it is already at. This is what deters me the most, this feeling of, "But God, the finances are impossible!" He is challenging me daily to trust that NOTHING is impossible with Him. Please pray with me as He works to  raise up new members of my support team to work with me to see this ministry fulfilled! The directors of Pioneers broke it down to needing 30 people to partner with me by sponsoring my ministry $1 a day-- $30 a month (or 20 Pounds). If some can give more and some can give less, it will then even out. And somehow, that makes it seem less daunting! Would any of you reading be interested in partnering with me to share the love of God in the UK this way? Or know anyone who might be interested? PLEASE do not hesitate to get in touch...

And we will need Him to supply the visa in a country where visas are harder and harder to come by as the gov't puts more and more restrictions on them. Of course, this is nothing to  Him. But Leah worries. hehe. Prayers, please!

I'm so very thankful for how smoothly my journey with Pioneers has been thus far. I'm so thankful for the way the Lord is leading one little step by one little step, guiding me onward in this life of serving Him. It is one wild ride. But He can be trusted! And if in the end that's the only thing He used my life for, to get that message across, it's enough :)

So... onward we go, learning to live in love and trust of Him!

Walk in the World in Merciful Ways...

"Go into the world showing how much He loves you.
Walk in the world in merciful ways; He loves you."
--Jars of Clay, 'Benediction'

Every day Grace to Keep us Walking on

“Is this what brokenness really is? A state of wonder? When we are broken, we take nothing for granted and we are astonished by breath and being and the most simple extraordinary grace. When we are broken, being at all is the wonder, everyday grace is the miracle, and we see that this is what is real: everything is a staggering gift.” – Ann Voskamp

I've been thinking about everyday grace.

I've been pondering this journey of serving Him. I've been pondering this 'living by faith' lifestyle. I've been pondering the way the work has taught me new aches I've never been touched by before, and I've been pondering how overwhelming it feels, and how to hand it all over to Him, to slip out of the way it coats me like a used garment at the end of the day. I find it doesn't slip off so easily, and soon there are so many layers of old dresses piled over my skin, one after the other, that I can hardly move, and I become encumbered by the thing which was once for my good, and for the good of those around me.

And I've been pondering His grace and care which always always always has held me back from being swallowed up. I've been pondering the gentle way He leads me, the gentle way He corrects me, His every movement toward me is grace. And every time I stop to see it, I am floored by His mercy to me. I read a Beth Moore quote recently that brought a knowing smile to my face: "One of the things I love best about God is His unexplainable choice of servants. Frankly, God either has a lot of grace or poor taste." I do wonder if I'll ever be the kind of confident person who doesn't question herself and her place in the world, but for now... I look at Him most every day, and definitely as He takes me into each new stage of this journey of ministry and ask, "Are You sure about this?" Unexplainable choice of servants indeed!

Last night I met with a Swedish lady I've come to kind of disciple over the years. We were very Swedish and went out for 'fika' and then tramped home after the sun, fleeting quickly these days, went down over this gorgeous city.  We went over a bible study together looking at making room in our lives to lean on His strength.Those of you who know me have read my countless lines about feeling entirely too weak and having no recourse to anything BUT Him. So, needless to say, the study struck a chord of encouragement for me. I find, again, that I am in a position where He HAS TO come through, or else. With the impossibility of Uganda on the horizon, but also in my current interim period between working with RM and working in Uganda. I am just so aware how deeply I need Him for every moment, for every necessity, for every conversation presented to me, for every ministry opp, and every choice. And I can either stress about the unknown/inconvenience/insecurity of that, or realize that that state of desperation is the perfect alert telling me that I am exactly where I should be...

"I discovered an astonishing truth: God's attracted to weakness. He can't resist those who humbly and honestly admit how desperately they need Him. Our weakness, in fact, makes room for His power" -- J. Cymbala

But His beautiful grace doesn't just leave us hanging there, holding on for dear life. It bathes our eyes with the perspective of wonderment. When we are broken, we take nothing for granted and we are astonished by breath and being and the most simple extraordinary grace. Last weekend He gave me one of those moments of sheer wonder at Him and His ways. One of these moments of wonder which I might not have if I wasn't acutely acquainted with my own brokenness and weakness and emptiness. I was bridesmaid in a wedding for my new boss who has become a fast friend. Our difference in beliefs has given rise to so many interesting conversations and challenging thoughts to work through with Him. It's stunning to me how we live side by side in two completely different realities, mine with the God of Love at the centre of my entire world, and hers a world without God at all (still trying to work out how one survives such a world...).

After days of intense preparation, while both Jo and I were battling sickness and fatigue, the party came together, and dressed to the nines, I joined this group of Chilean/European strangers and wandered around this beautiful city I so love relishing the moments. And I was so caught up in the sheer beauty of His grace in giving me, little old me, such moments. At the end of the day, after a ceremony at the stunning old city hall, and being followed around by a photographer for hours doing a photo shoot for the wedding invitation business I'm working for, I found myself sitting in an atmospheric European wine cellar surrounded by the sounds of laughter and music and His diversity of world cultures colliding all around me and within me, partaking in a beautiful, sophisticated, 4-course meal complete with champagne in the romantic candle-light. And my soul just fell silent in awe at the way it all felt like a tailor-made gift from His heart to my delighted little one. How does such an event fit into MY little life? Whenever did it become just another day on the job being called to Europe to be given such, to me, extraordinary experiences?


And I see the moments like that one which come along as some kind of healing balm covering over some of the harder sides of this 'job' of serving Him which have rubbed me raw and pummeled me black & blue.


And I love His love. I love His strength soaring through my weakness. I love His plan so much bigger than my mind can see and comprehend. And I choose to trust Him. Beyond the circumstances I can see. Because I know His heart is like a warm wine-cellar bathed in candlelight and drenched in laughter, not like the spiritual battle raging over this serving Him business, which wounds so deeply and leaves such scars.


Every day grace IS the miracle. And EVERYTHING in it is a staggering gift.

Seek out that everyday grace, friends. Seek out that grace-filled heart which hands it to you, in all your brokenness, in all your weakness. His heart throbs with love for His little ones as we walk on in this confusing, challenging, painful world waiting for its redemption and the reconciliation which is coming. Walk on in that glorious hope, in this glorious grace.

"Therefore I ... beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, and one God and Father, who is over all and in all and living through all." -- Ephesians 4:1-6

An inspiring blog to check out...

http://www.aholyexperience.com/2010/07/one-thing-you-can-do-if-your-heart.html

Mmmmm. Yes. 

Be it Guatemala, Uganda, Sweden, or wherever... It's His love which changes the world. Nothing less.
May we strive to be world-changers; may we live to be lovers.

Have you ever been hungry?

Have you ever gone hungry?
I mean really hungry, not eating supper an hour later than usual kind of hungry.

Today I've been taking part in a sponsored fast to raise money for Racham Ministries (website coming soon!). Racham is the brand new ministry heading out to south-eastern Uganda in January which I'm going out with to help start up the Children's Home. Today has been all about crying out for the children of Uganda which Racham will exist for who faint with hunger in the streets (Lam 2:19). I am hungry, but I have no idea what that kind of hunger is. I am needy, but I have no idea what that kind of need is. I may feel alone, but I have no idea what that kind of loneliness is. And I've been before the Lord all day crying out for those little ones who do know, who know nothing else...

Just like when I was facing it in Romania, my heart which knows this God of love, this massive, powerful, gracious, good, compassionate God, is perplexed when faced with these issues so incompatible with Who He is. He could snap His fingers and fill the bellies of every child on earth with good food, fill the love tank of every child on earth with affection and honest care. I know life doesn't work that way. I know. But if my little heart aches this deeply for them, how must His feel?? And how does He stand it?

I went to the Word and looked up "hunger," "hungry," and "orphan" in my concordance and found, "He has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away with empty hands." --Luke 1:53 And it made me long to remain in a place of need and hunger rather than being rich and full and think I have it all sorted, only to find my hands are empty of what matters... Him.

And He answered my cries of, "Lord, where is Your mercy for ones such as these?" with the reminder that... Christ left His Spirit in us and gave us the command to go into all the world and bring the Kingdom of God to those trapped in the world's darkness. Mother Theresa once said, "If we have no peace, it's because we have forgotten that we belong to one another."


"Give justice to the poor and the orphan; uphold the rights of the oppressed and the destitute. Rescue the poor and helpless; deliver them from the grasp of evil people." -- Psalm 82:3-4

"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." -- James 1:27

If we belong to Christ, their hunger is our responsibility to feed, their cries are ours to hear, their tears are ours to wipe, they are ours to love. We are the hands and feet of Christ, we are the bearers of His Kingdom light.

So... where are we?