But I have to share anyway :)
I've been having such a difficult week. Just generally low. With the baby being born back home, I've been feeling really down about missing out on so much on the homefront while facing so many giants here, and feeling so lonely. Then a friend from England whom I've been looking forward to seeing had to cancel his visit-- driving home the loneliness. I've been clinging to the Truth of Who He is and how I have been called in Him, and trusting Him to carry me right through the darkness that settles about like the long Swedish winter, but that's not changed the way it FEELS.
And in this low week, He's chosen to break through with some seemingly unrelated ways of encouraging me. And there are bursts of lights in the Swedish darkness!
I was contacted early this week by a young American family here who are looking for a regular babysitter for their gorgeous, easy-going 5 month old boy and they want me! They're first-time parents and she's hardly left her baby but she says she feels really at ease leaving him with me because of all my experience-- even though she found me through a post I put up on an English-speaking Gothenburg newspaper's website! So, I'm able to fit some paid work in beside the Rescue Mission work, and it's delightful 'work' besides-- simply caring for a sweet baby which hardly feels like work as it comes quite naturally ;) God has lined it all up so perfectly, I can't even describe it. I'm just in awe of His provision!!! I mean, I was always hoping for a paid job as long as it fit in alongside working at the ministry-- realizing how wearying it would all be. I just needed Him to bring around the *timely*, *English-speaking* job. Instead, He's got me paid work doing something I love (and it's rejuvenating to do something you love!) and which will give me space from besides-- which is so necessary in any ministry. Besides that, this family lives RIGHT in the city centre. I mean.... it's an incredible location. So easy to get to and so beautifully placed. He knows my heart needs beauty :) I am just really amazed. It takes me 45 minutes to travel from where I live to Rescue Mission each day by tram and bus. The distance between their flat and mine is a straight 15 minute shot on one tram :)
And that's not all! Earlier in the week, He sent along a RANDOM pledge of support from friends in England I never expected who happened to discover a bank account they didn't know they had, and felt strongly to use it for ministry. Not only that, but they have told me exactly what they hope for it to go toward, which is something I have been praying for Him to provide for-- the health stuff: Diabetic appts, prescriptions, gym membership, etc. I am just blown away. And I love that He did it all in this week when I've been struggling so...
Wow. I'm just... amazed. And realizing more and more that this elusive business of trusting Him is really mostly about waiting on Him, His time, His way....
He will teach me trust. He will teach me dependence. He will teach me how deep His love and faithfulness goes. And I will learn not to fear anything, anyone, any circumstance, only Him.
Praise You, Jehovah-Jirah. The God Who Provides.
And now you must humour me again as a doting Auntie and gaze in wonder at 3 of the most beautiful blessings He's placed in my life. Abby (4), Emily (2), and new baby Kenan (nearly a week) reflecting His beauty and love :)