Saturday, 6 March 2010

And When I Cannot Stand... You Are Where I Land

I've discovered this new singer/songwriter (JJ Heller) tonight, and particularly this new song, "Where I Land..." And my heart says, "yes, yes, yes!" and my soul says, "she and I could be friends..." :)

The Lord blessed me last night with 3 friends coming over. It started as one, then became 2, then became 3, and with the emotional&physical exhaustion I've been trying to both hide and recover from, I wasn't myself at all (and felt guilty for it. Grr). But having them here just blessed me so. I made a big pot of homemade chicken soup (yum!) and a batch of chocolate-chip cookies, and even did my laundry while these 3 awesome ladies hung out at my flat, one Swede, one South African, and one Romanian. Two of them ended up staying the night-- how I LOVE that familiarity! I am so thankful for the friendships He provides!-- and we made up make-shift beds and talked all night and all day :) (fortunately my roommate is out of town). There was laughter and there was music and there was lots of girl talk. And at one point in the evening, we just ended up praying together...

And my heart was just too heavy and too full and too distant and-- I can't think of the right word... burnt out?-- to pray out, and then I work myself into feeling guilty for not speaking my prayers outloud and wanting to disappear into the floor... and in a sudden shift of subject, Anthea started to pray over me, and Sandra's gentle hand reached out and rested on my shoulder and... the tears flowed all around. It just felt like storming heaven, and being fought for, and that is SO incredibly encouraging... And, it's like the song says:

"I am lost for words
You're more than I deserve
And when I cannot stand
You are where I land..."

And I am so thankful. So needy and so Yours, Lord, to do with what You will. And so thankful.

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