Friday, 6 July 2012

Encouragement When You Need It

So I found an old blog of mine today. And one of the last posts I wrote on it is resonating so much today that I had to re-share it here.

This God of all Hope is so incredibly kind to reach into our ordinary days, isn't He?

Wednesday, 07 April 2010

It's becoming just a bit too much again.

And lately He's seemed a bit distant.
And my soul can bear almost anything but that.

So, of course, He sent along His servant "D" to me again tonight. Ha. I shouldn't be surprised. D does go on and I can never remember half of what he said, partly because his Bulgarian accent is so strong, partly because he explains things in a very unclear, D style :) But we were at our friend's birthday party, and I'm feeling ill, so he offered to drive me home, blessed man, and at one point on the drive-- me having spoken nothing of the particular discouragement I've been wading through today-- he turned to me and said, "The Lord knows it's not easy. The Lord knows what you gave up. But He also knows His way is the very best way for your life, and He wants the very best for your life."

I laughed a little at God and at D. Naturally, he'd send someone along to speak up to me and make everything make sense for a few minutes again. And the thought just made me feel light...

He also reminded me-- again, without knowing what's been going on inside of me-- that the enemy goes after extra hard the ones He calls. He goes after them in whatever way will discourage them the most. But that Christ has made me His! So the enemy has to go THROUGH Jesus to get to me. And I can just throw my arms in the air, toss my head back, and shout for His rescue, knowing that He doesn't allow ANYTHING in to my life that He hasn't thoroughly checked out first. I am His. I am His. I have the sentiment tattooed to my very body and I still lose sight of the truth. I am His!! I belong to the King of the World!!! How can I dream of being discouraged or alone?

Oh, Lord, Jesus. Teach me. Teach me. Teach me. I'm Yours. Teach me how to live in such a way that SCREAMS that I know it to the very depths of my being! I AM YOURS!!! And you love me, and You desire to use me! I don't have to strive to get it right, I just have to rest in being Yours! O Lord God, thank You...
He spoke to me so strongly on Easter Eve (2010)-- one of those moments where He speaks so startlingly clear into your spirit that it's unmistakably Him.

I've been struggling with striving, and feeling not enough. And it's such a trap. On Easter Eve before leading the vigil, I was out walking under the stars and delighting in His beauty with a childlike joy and He just kind of seemed to lay on my heart, "See, baby, THAT's the kind of faith I want in you. Faith like a child. A child looks to its daddy and just trusts him, whatever he says. It just obeys because it knows its daddy's voice. I know that sometimes obeying me can feel like being crucified, and the consequences of that obedience can feel like death.... but look what happened 3 days later...." And I had chills raising the hair on my arms.

My spirit was just floored. So simple, but so stark and deep to me that night. I don't think I've ever appreciated all that this holiday represents so deeply and profoundly before.

Look what happened 3 days later.
Christ overcame death and evil and all of satan's discouragement and rose in all His glory, freeing the ENTIRE human race from the wages of sin in one fell swoop. All because He obeyed His daddy when He asked Him to do the seemingly impossible thing, the consequence being separation from His father and DEATH. Woah. And 3 days later, what His obedience accomplished is the continuing hope of all mankind... The obedience He asks of us is never acting against that hope...

And I am so thankful that He is Who He is. And that I am His.
Like D said in the car tonight, "It's God and you. It's just God and you."
I love You, Abba. Show me how to walk when I feel like falling...

1 comment:

Gabi Dickinson said...

I bet I commented on Xanga, but thank you hun, reallyyyyyyyyyyy needed this tonight!

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