Ushering out 2012

New Year's Eve always makes me reflective... On what God's done and on what He's doing and on what He's about to do in the new year.  

2012 started me out in America, sent me back to Sweden in February, in and out of England all throughout, and to Ireland with the most handsome man in the world in May! As well as handing me a new baby goddaughter that month to cherish. It took my beloved Grandma in July and left a huge gap in her place. It slipped a diamond engagement ring on my finger in August, giving me the most delightful and touching surprise I've had to date, thanks to my dearest friends and my darling man's collaboration :) It encouraged my soul and my heart for ministry in the beginning of August when it asked me to pour out my heart and my experiences of my God in my own life so far at a youth event on a small island in Kent. And it did so again when pouring out how He's touched my heart into the lives of a group of lovely 13-15 year old girls at a small summer camp in the Gloucestershire countryside later that month. It sent me to beautiful Budapest, Hungary for one random night in September and on a once-in-a-lifetime roadtrip down from Sweden to Denmark to Germany to Switzerland to Italy and finally to France in October to be maid-of-honour for my friend in their non-secret wedding :) It delivered into my life a new baby niece to love in October :) It brought me home for my dear friend/cousin Emily's long-awaited wedding in the end of October, sent me to Washington and Oregon with my Mom and my Grandpa in a precious roadtrip out to see my cousin and great aunt. It flew me down to Arizona to visit the Grand Canyon on a special week with my Mom in November. And gave me my last Christmas as a single woman with my family in freezing cold Northern MN in December. In fact, I'll never spend another year as an unmarried girl after this one...

I've gotten in the habit of framing my memories according to where in the world I was when. Potentially, 2012 may be my last year of doing so much of that. It's hard to know what 2013 will bring, aside from a few choice dates which stand out in it :) This new year, on the 1st of June 2013, I will marry the best man I know, the man I believe God has been molding and shaping to share his life with me to His glory. We have very little clues as to how He specifically intends to use us together. But we know our God. And we wait in wonder...

It is big, the thought that THIS is the year He gives me the husband I have longed for. And not just anyone, but CHARLES MATTHEW KELTON, the man I love. It is big. And it's so easy to just go with the flow of the engagement and the wedding planning and the getting-on-with-life-ness of it all. But it is time to pause and ponder and process the bigness of this commitment we're making in 152 days, in this new year. I cannot quite express how I feel as I look toward the 1st of June 2013 and all that it signifies. I am excited beyond words and breathless with desire while also facing the fear of seeing the reality of some marriages all around me. We look at one another knowing that it does not always turn out all wonderful, but meeting gazes and knowing we desire to love one another well, like Christ loves us. And like we love one another now-- deeply, wistfully, joyfully, expectantly, hopefully, longingfully, with freshness and newness and trust, as well as a sort of holy fear. This thing is so much bigger than the two of us. So much stronger and so much more fragile-- in equal measure-- than we could have known it would be. And ultimately, it is a gift of His limitless grace, a gift to cherish and steward with reverance.

I love you, Charles. I cannot wait to kiss you as your wife in this new year. 152 days...

And I love you, Jesus. I cannot possibly say it loud enough or often enough. I want to thank you for this year of 2012. There have been so many hard times, a lot of heartache and some despair. There have been a lot of life's lessons that I hardly realized I was in the process of learning. And there has been a lot of laughter and joy and wonder and awe. And love. I am so thankful for Your love and Your grace which is ushering me through the years and will escort me right into and through 2013 too... 

Lord, be Lord of all my life in this new year. Help me to have more faith to trust You with, to surrender to your ways more quickly, to reject anxiety and all that draws my gaze from Your face. Lord, help me to love like You love. Help me to be transformational to the lives all around me wherever you place me, not just speaking of Your hope but living it out! Father, take my life so completely. I just want to want You more than anything else in this world... I love you. Thank you for the year which has passed and for this new one dawning. Thank You for Your grace.

Merry Christmas!

Hallelujah!

Grandma's Christmas Candies

This weekend was beautiful.

The apron of Grandma's
that I remember the most keenly

I spent it at my Grandpa's house, helping him to figure out how in the world Grandma made all her Christmas candy. He wanted to do it this year, to hand out to all the family like Grandma used to-- huge boxes full of chocolate-covered-cherries, Turtle candies made from scratch, various cookies, and almond-bark goodies. We could never have guessed how tiring it would be! How Grandma did this year after year, I will never know. But as I stood in her kitchen, wearing her apron, stirring her pots of caramel, I felt so close to her. It struck me how very many times her smooth, soft hands had touched those well-worn pots and pans. Cooking for others was one of the main ways Grandma showed her love-- pots and pots full of love.

There were some tears-- for both Grandpa and I-- but there was also lots of laughter. And I can't wait to find an excuse for another long weekend spent at Grandpa's :)

My very own Christmas elf :)

Update on the Photography Name Game

Thank you so much to everyone who weighed in on the photography name for me, both here and on Facebook. The favourite ended up being the one I favoured too! But then I did my research... to find that Poiema Photography is already taken! As is Leah Joy Photography. And Moments of Joy Photography (a great suggestion from a friend on FB). But His Poiema Photography is still free. Do I spring on it? I'm worried about it being kind of a strange mouthful.

I want to deliberate over a name because it's important. But I want to begin this journey and I need to reserve whatever name I'm going for in order to get the blog address, the FB page, etc. I want it to be intriguing, and to invite curiosity about what it stands for. I want it to be artsy. I want it to be personal to me, and to what God has spoken over my heart and over my life all these years of coming to know Him more and more. I feel like photography, like writing, is kind of a spiritual thing. Grasping on to little glimmers of His glory to share with the world. Pointing, always pointing, to the whole epitome of this existence...

And I do so love Him. And long to magnify Him in it all. I just can't keep it in...

So, I've been brainstorming and checking each and every idea that comes to mind. All the best ones seem to be taken! But there are a few left that might work... I used a word cloud generator to show me what words I have most often written on this blog, and then came up with some names based on them :) Does anyone have any opinion on the list I've put together below? Or any other suggestions I might consider?

#1-- His Poiema Photography. "Poiema" means workmanship or masterpiece in Greek. And everything I photograph will be little glimmers of His masterpiece as are each and every one of our life stories as they are being played out!

#2-- Poetry of Light Photography (or Poet of Light Photography). It again, plays off the idea that we are God's poiema, His masterpiece, His work of poetry. And photography is all about capturing scenes according to the light thrown on it. And He is the Light shed on all of us...

#3-- Poetry & Grace Photography. Because we are His poetry, and His theme running throughout the myriad lines is grace.

#4-- Hope & Light Photography. Because the word HOPE came up a lot in my word cloud generation. And I am kinda addicted to hope. I run on it like fuel. And the fact that Light drives photography. And He is the light.

#5-- Whispers of Hope Photography. Because this side of heaven we must quieten ourselves to hear the whispers...

#6-- Whispers of Light Photography. Again, we can only catch the whispers now. And His beauty all around us does the whispering...

#7-- Whispered Poem Photography. In that same vein.

Your thoughts? I'd love to hear them. Help me narrow it down!

(In other news, I discovered in all my research on what names are taken and which are not, that there are NO other Leah Keltons on FB. There are MANY Leah Pearsons-- hence the middle name being employed-- but not a single Leah Kelton to be found. 'Til June 1st, that is :) :) :) I am so excited to become Mrs. Charles Kelton! Hey, maybe that should be an option: Mrs. Charles Kelton Photography :) )

Christmas come Early (And I Need Your Help!)

So... The day has finally come.

I have a beautiful little DSLR camera of my very own :) :) :) Secondhand, of course, because my pocketbook isn't as big as my dreams. But my first "proper" camera, nonetheless. One of my current prayer themes is that the Lord would teach me how to capture His beauty in photos in such a way that I might help make a living for my family. So, this is the beginning of an exciting journey into the land of freelance photography :) I pray I don't lose heart! I can be so afraid of failure that I don't even try at some things...

But there are a few things I know and a LOT of things I have to learn.
For instance, I know I have a true bend toward Natural Light Photography.
I know I like taking photos in Aperture Priority best.
I know my general "style" of photos are light and airy, as well as robust with colour, especially if the sun is out and it's golden!
I know I want to help contribute toward the living of Charles' and my family (starting with our marriage on June 1st, 2013! Woohoo!!) in such a way that I can (mostly) stay home with our kids.
I know I HAVE to use my creativity for my soul to thrive.
And I know I have ALWAYS had a thing for capturing the beauty I see in a way I can share it with people-- whether that be in writing or taking photos. I cannot keep the fragments of His glory I see showered down amongst us to myself.

I'm toying with names for a freelance photography business starting from scratch. Want to weigh in?

Option #1:

Option #2:

Option #3:

(This one probably makes the most sense, but I'm just not that comfortable with naming it after myself!)

 

I'm leaning toward Option #1, just as it seems a bit clearer than Option #2, and it doesn't involve my own name like Option #3. Anyone want to give me your opinion? Or suggest other names you think it should go by?

And, while we're at it, does anyone want to have your pictures taken to give me some practice? Get in touch! One has got to start somewhere...

Soaking it up...

Sometimes I feel so aware of God's presence in my every moment, like even though I can't see Him outright, I can feel His breath washing over me rhythmically in my day to day.

That's not been the season I've been in lately.

I think with all the moving about and making plans and settling in and settling out again, I've just kinda been keeping up with things.

But on Saturday my Mom and I flew down to Arizona for a little mother/daughter trip to use some of her timeshare points up before the end of the year (what a chore!). And the "vacation feeling" just quiets the clamours in my soul enough to tune in and hear that breath of God again.

And it's like coming home, only to more of a home than home...

Again and again and again, it is His beauty that calls me to Him, that draws my heart up close to Him. Again and again and again, I am floored when I catch sight of His glory in whatever form-- the grandeur of the Grand Canyon Mom and I just spent a day visiting, the luxury of the condo we're blessed to stay at this week in Sedona, the laughter of the little children in my life reflecting His heart of joy, the intimacy of sharing deep talks with the woman who gave birth to me and then lovingly raised me. It all just points me to His kindness.

And then the darker seasons I've walked through, the struggles of the soul I've fought with strength nearly spent, the hurt and ache the world constantly throws at us, it instantly fades in the light of realizing afresh what it means to be loved by the King of the world.

I cannot help but be reminded again of the endless hope there is in belonging to Him. At the end of this blink of an eye existence is a whole new reality we only look toward expectantly now, glimmers of it shining through in the experiences of beauty and wonder we can glimpse here and now.

This week is a chance to revel in those glimmers of the hope of eternity, to consume His presence in all the joy and delight and beauty and hope I can catch and hold close to my heart.

And all I can do is bow that heart in awe, and soak it all up in gratitude.

Thank You, my kind and endlessly hopeful King.
May the world know that You are all that You say you are, and may they never go hungry for Your presence again.

My beautiful Mom and I soaking up the majesty of the Grand Canyon

The surreal glory of the Grand Canyon

Soaking up His glory in the sunset over the Grand Canyon

And soaking up His kindness in the luxury of the timeshare in Sedona where we're staying!

May you pause today, and stop long enough to settle your busy mind and heart, and draw up close enough to this gracious God to hear His presence breathing over you. He loves you, He loves you, He loves you. And He always will.

"Cry out for this nourishment as a baby cries for milk,
now that you have had a taste of the Lord's kindness."
-- 1 Peter 2:2-3

A Cruel Harvest by Fran Grubb

I wasn't quite prepared for what I would read in this memoir. It's the story of one woman's horrific childhood abuse and her reconnection with her scattered siblings as an adult. Born into a family of migrant farmers and an alcoholic, mean-spirited, physically and sexually abusive father, as Fran recounts her story I found myself disbelieving that anyone could be so utterly and completely cruel. But hand in hand with that aspect of her story, is her proof of the stunning resilience of the human soul.

It struck me so strongly when I set the book down at the end, that the only thing which kept Fran herself from becoming just as bitter and hardened and desensitized as the hard man who spent her whole life trying to make her so, was Jesus. It's not clear what sort of upbringing HE had, but hers set her up to be hard, insensitive, and abusive, in accordance with how she was treated. And indeed in her early adulthood, she did play out some of the same behaviours. But then she met Jesus. And everything changed. Undeniably.

And THAT is my favourite kind of story there is to tell. It speaks of hope. It speaks of the triumph of love over hatred and light over what seemed endless darkness. That is what Christ does. That is who He is.

And on top of all that, I just adore reading memoirs. Real stories of real people! It's good to know we're not alone...

This book is well worth a read.

* *I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their [...] book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255