Sorry I've been so silent. This time of waiting on God has been such an explosive mix of intensity and stillness, as I've waited for some movement. But more and more I feel blessed in the wait. What at first caused such frustration I see Him turning over into rest and preparation and soul-work as every day He holds out a hand and asks me to take it and trust Him, knowing that my ideal way may not necessarily be His way, and that I want His...
"Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows but only empties today of its strength."
-- Charles Spurgeon
-- Charles Spurgeon
I've taken to keeping busy with all kinds of things during the wait-- the wait for a job, the wait for a residency permit, the wait for Him to show me a sudden turn in the route I'm plodding onward to; to continue work with Rescue Mission Ministries in Sweden. I've watched for new direction because the route back to Sweden has not been an easy and smooth one, which has often made me wonder if I'm on the right one. But as I heard in clear words plain-as-day at a church women's retreat just this past weekend, "Just because something's hard, doesn't mean you're not doing it right." (Thank you, Beth. I know they weren't even meant for me but He spoke through them nonetheless!)
There have been glimmers of hope in the wait. A kind word, an understanding attitute about the complexities of a life of mission, someone exuding excitement about His Work, my first financial support, a gift from a dear middle school teacher of mine who seems to believe in me more than I believe in myself! And my second financial support, coming from a group of ladies who have so inspired and encouraged me in my somewhat down-trodden experience of being home for so long when my passionate heart is so alert to the need elsewhere! The Faith Mission Circle at Faith Baptist Church has taken me in with open arms. They are a lovely little group of rather elderly ladies who meet faithfully once a month to pray for the missionaries they know of. Each of them have lived at the very least 3 of my lifetimes :) Some of them have worked in mission themselves. All of them know the heart of the Father and feel the need of the ones throughout the world who don't. And the wisdom and care and heart gathered in that room touches me so deeply...
When boredom and passion drew me earlier this month to the piano-- an instrument I don't play as I can't read a note of music-- I never could have guessed how He would challenge me to obey Him in the todays as I prepare for my tomorrows. This past weekend, I have somehow ended up being asked to sing and play my own song for a women's retreat session, and two church services! Shaking with fright and struggling to breathe in order to push the sound out, He has touched me through asking me to sing-- more so, I'm sure, than He has touched anyone who has listened.
And tomorrow I am pleased to announce, I have an interview! It's nothing to write home about-- a cashier position at Walmart. But between now and 6-8 weeks from now when my visa is due back, I am desperate to earn the funds I'll need to get back to His work in Europe. I am hoping to make a long-awaited return to Sweden at the end of March! So, with the visa app filled out by parties on both sides of the Atlantic, finished and sent in faith, and an interview for an earning opportunity at hand, it feels like there's movement in this wait!!
And I am excited by the love of this God who sees beyond anything we can see in our present circumstances and draws us to Himself with His loving-kindness and steadfast faithfulness!!
Be blessed :)
p.s. If you'd like to be a part of this missionary journey, don't hesitate to get in touch! All my contact is to the left of your screen. I am actively seeking mission-partners in prayer and finance. You can even make your tax-deductible donations securely online via paypal to His_poiema@yahoo.com!